Monday, September 13, 2010

One Month Apart

Corregidor Trip with Hubby Day Before He Left
One of the most difficult things along this expatriation journey is being apart.  Yes, even if you have decided that you will stick together, for one reason or another there will be someone who will go ahead and the other follows.  Albeit the arrangement is temporary, missing my husband is such a pain.  I am an independent woman mind you but I say it with no shame that the only man who makes my being alone lonely is my hubby.  I am not the same without him.

The 1.5 months that we are on long-distance is one helluva time for me.  The “terribly missing hubby” is one but coupled with the thought that I will be missing the people of home – friends and family who have been there every step of the way is another.  The feeling that I can’t wait to get off work and do my “move” stuff because somehow it brings me closer to hubby also reigns.  But the feeling that for the first time after entering the labor force I will not be working and earning also looms. I am these two opposing emotions.

With Winna & Nikki (the balikbayan)
So how do I cope? I deal with my business here as best as I could: work turnovers, home spring cleaning, updating my government and bank related files and doing the doctor sweep (the trip to the Ob-Gyne was encouraging – I am fit to conceive! But challenging – I have to be on my way to baby mamahood around my 30th as chances get slimmer from that point forward).  I turn to family and friends: enjoying time with 2 friends from abroad, family bonding with a cousin visiting from the States, meeting up with former workmates and life-long friends and taking the trip down south to hang-out with my grandmother.  I plan out what to do when I get to my destination: making our new pad a home is project #1, enrolling in a language class (I’m learning their native Sinhalese baby!), job hunting and planning our weekend trips (it’s holiday every full moon in Sri Lanka – wild!).  And making a point to see and talk to hubby everyday – virtually.  Thanks to Skype we make sure we keep the connection alive.  Plus, no more lonely nights at a fraction of the price!  While a surprise tangible gift from hubby does not hurt one bit!     

A Surprise From Hubby For Our First Month
I guess, more importantly treading this dreaded long-distance relationship path is making it a journey to self-discovery.  I started this blog, I’m brewing up a few research topics (nerd!), enjoying alone time, enjoying down time amidst everything I listed above and trying out things I’ve never done before.  Case in point watching a movie alone.  Just last Saturday, I made the trip to watch none other than a movie about long-distance relationships.  One for its theme but really because I’m a Drew Barrymore fan!  The experience was liberating and interesting.  I mean it’s kind of hard to laugh out loud when you’re alone and a little bit weird to be seated between two couples (thank God they were behaving!).  But I realized one thing.  I am not alone and I will never be as long as hubby and I both shall live.  It’s the first time I felt this way – in a way that maybe only married people can (because I’ve been alone when I was single and it sure darn didn’t feel this way). Because we are married.  I guess marriage really changes you and what I love about it most is that it brings a psychical companionship that transcends space and time.  Like no other man-made relationship can. 

My husband left for Colombo exactly one month today.  And in this month, we’ve never been so apart yet so together.


  1. Hi Trina,
    or Tala as your uncle Jeff refers to you. Nice blog. But really its a bit better than that. More like the beginnings of a romance novel. I'm a skeptic at why people marry and even more of a skeptic as to the need to for anyone to marry. Yet my parents did marry, and still together after all these years, and have never questioned why they married in the first place. Of course in those days (1958)it was an obligation, a prerequisite to making a family, a license to sleep together. But after reading your thoughts (a preferable term to the word "blog")i have to say that you are trully in love and that you and your husband (whose name escapes me for the moment, sorry)are one of the few people i know who have married for the right and only reason there is. you are what they call "two halves" and it is enriching to know there are still "kids" like you two in 2010, and kin too to boot.
    You'll love Ceylon (my prefererred name)and its people. The hills of Kandy will be great visually, endless hills of tea plants (which are camelias by the way. Nanay&tatay have a nephew who lives in Colombo, i believe, i will ask her. If we ever get the chance, we will visit. while you are there, make every effort to visit the indian subcontinent and see the great cities of india and the old maharajah states and palaces and especially Rajasthan.
    love you two, and enjoy what's ahead in the future. i heard this the other day in a movie, about making mistakes in life:
    "half the fun in life is making mistakes, and then trying to fix it". take that with you and see what it means for you in time. always smile and laugh is too short for anything else. love. tito louie

  2. Thank you for your words of wisdom Tito Louie! Missing you and Jeff and all the family in NZ. Hope we can go down there next year for the Rugby World Cup! Haha! Also, looking forward to your visit here :-)


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