What Matters Most To Me In Sri Lanka: Wrap Up

So What Does Sri Lanka Mean / Matters Most To Me?

Marriage + Wife. 

Blank Page + White Space. 

Motherhood.

People + Connection. 

Create + Home. 

Through all these I learned to…

Surrender.

Discover.

Create.

And that there is no place like home.  

And you can create it.  

And you can have more than one.  Yay!

This is Livin’ La Vida Lanka.

Create + Home

The last (but not the least) thing that Sri Lanka means to me is Creating + Home.

I came to Sri Lanka excited to be married but with a two-year timeframe in mind.  It’s hard to dig a foundation for a home if you are only looking at it for the short-term, contingent on hubby’s assignment.

Sri Lanka is homey.  I think it’s the chillaxing vibe.  Or the surprising similarities with the Philippines.  Or the friendly people.  Or just being with hubby.  Whatever it is, it invited me to feel at home.  And I did.  I do. 

The regional HR head in my previous job flew in for a visit.  And he was asking me how I feel about being in Sri Lanka.  Sri Lanka was in a “state of war” for around 30 years which only ended around a year before we arrived.  So I guess the stigma that it is a war-torn country is still primary in people’s minds.  He was pretty much curious about how I feel safety wise.  Honestly I actually feel safer here than in Manila.  I was born and raised in Manila and paranoid to the core.  I know I can wing it in any country if I wanted to.  I didn’t need to do that here.  Even if trishaw/tuktuk/bajaj drivers still rip me off (as they do both foreigners and locals alike I suppose), I have trust in the people here.  Case in point, we had a workshop in a hotel around an hour away from Colombo.  As we were heading home, I realized I forgot my personal laptop in the meeting room!  It was already 2 hours since we finished and the butterflies in my stomach were really bouncing all over the place.  What do you know, it was still there and I got it back safe and sound.  In Manila, “sorry ka nalang.”  Anyway I digress.  So I just answered him, “to me, Sri Lanka is home.”

In as much as it was homey I didn’t find it “home” for a long time.  In my mind I was comparing it to Manila but more on what it lacked.  It didn’t have a “proper mall” and GASP, STARBUCKS.  Really on that point alone I think I have outdone myself.  A Starbucks addict.  I realized that what I was trying to do was I was trying to bring Manila to Sri Lanka so I can be “at home.” But as my father always tells me, “you have to appreciate it for its own charm.” 

And thank God I did.  And more.

I found out that I could be happy without a mall, without a Starbucks and yes, without wardrobe shopping.

It created a safe space for me to work out “issues / traumas” I left behind in Manila.

I found out that if I just let go, in the tiny teardrop country of Sri Lanka, a whole new world was opened up to me.

And I found out that yes, even if I am miles away from home, I can create a home.

And gain another home.

I am one of the lucky few.  Manila / Philippines is Home.  Colombo / Sri Lanka is Home.  And I have another chance to create another home in Singapore.

My brother and I were discussing.  He was sharing how, when he was studying in Melbourne he purposefully didn’t “make” it home.  And I guess that is where most of my regrets stemmed from.  I started out well but eventually all my issues came up, things got busy, pregnancy hormones raged.  Not a good combination when you want to set up a new home.  

But you know what, one fine day (as they would say here) It. Just. Did. 

People + Connection

The fourth thing that Sri Lanka means to me is about the people we've made connections with.

Our life in Sri Lanka wouldn’t be as beautiful and grace-filled as it is had it not been for the people we meet.

The first new friends I’ve made was in Sinhala Class.  Looking back at it now I’ve realized that in as much as we were of different nationalities, ages and what-nots – we have so many things in common.  Our love of Yoga, our love for our husbands (we’ve basically “followed” or “stayed” in Sri Lanka for them!) and our love for learning to name a few.

Office friends are essential.  My first office friends here were actually hubby’s team.  They welcomed me with open arms and are just authentically awesome people.  When I started working I got my own set of office friends too!  And they are as great!

One thing that I was actually wary of mingling with are Filipinos.  This is coming from a warning that Filipinos will just borrow money.  But I had a totally different experience here!  They did not borrow money at all but they are one of the most generous people I have ever met in my life.  I guess it’s the sense of solidarity and brotherhood for people from home in a land far away from home.  Or just the kinds of people they are.  They have gifted us with food, invited us to the parties and basically opened their arms and made Sri Lanka feel like Manila.  One thing about money though is that they are one set of uber entrepreneurs.  They make longganisa, siopao and even bring in Dunkin Donuts from the Middle East and sell it for a nice profit! 

During my pregnancy my doctor was a ray of sunshine and calling me “Sweetie” was pretty calming amidst the stresses of a first-time mom-to-be.  Our birthing class teacher was a source of strength and reassurance.  My yoga gurus gave powerful meditations. 

Closer to home, I feel we’ve developed a sense of family with our nanny and driver.  In as much as in this warped world they “serve” us, we have endeavored to serve them as well.  They are our parent’s age yet they work for us but I look at it this way, they take care of us.  This is the first time I’ve ever “managed” household “help” and I didn’t think I would be this sentimental about it.  I guess we were lucky to have found them.  Avid readers would know that I’ve had my fair share in driver troubles and cleaner woes.  But the two who are with us the longest and with us now are truly exceptional – not only in their work but also as persons.  As Nanny McVi once said, “I know you have a good heart.”

The place is just a place until it becomes rooted in the people there.  Nanny McVi was showing how sad she was on our leaving.  You see her expertise is taking care of children from 0-12.  By the time they celebrate their first birthday, she moves on to another newborn.  In as much as in each leaving there is sadness, with her “Sri Lankan” babies, she knows she can still see them.  But us, this may be a “real” goodbye.  I sure hope not.  And to go all MacArthur or Schwatzenegger, “We will be back.”  Or you will visit us in Singapore.  Or we’ll keep touch on Facebook!  Whatever mode - we'll definitely stay connected.

White Space + Blank Page

The second thing that matters most to me in Sri Lanka is being given a White Space + Blank Page.

I knew I needed to make new friends – so I enrolled in a Sinhala class and found my first dear friends and who are just awesome people.

I also wanted to deepen my Yoga practice and it just so happened that my first two Sinhala class friends, A and D were avid Yoga practitioners!  How cool is that?  I tried both their recommendations and found that what D referred was one that spoke to me more.

My Yoga gurus – the mother-and-daughter team of Nandini and Nitya of Aurora Yoga Studio is just awesome.  Nandini pushed me to achieve poses that I never even dared possible – all in the safe space that she created.  She was tough but kind.  I was practicing with Nitya most of the time because I did more Yoga when I got pregnant and after I gave birth.  She is an excellent Pre and Post Natal Yoga teacher.  I love the mini-meditation she facilitates: drawing prana and imagining it filling my tummy and enveloping Luna then in the womb with love and compassion. 

Sri Lanka provided me a white space, a blank page where nurtured passions that were just brewing back in Manila (Yoga) and expanded myself to really put myself out there and make new friends.  Something that I wouldn’t take the time to do in Manila because I was pretty much operating in my comfort zone.  Of course I would make friends when I attend a retreat or moved to a different company but that was facilitated by the situation itself.  Whereas here, I really had to think of opportunities where I can actually meet new friends!

More than that, what I thought I would just pick-up where I left off was career.  I am a person who anchors my identity on my career – for the longest time that was the center of most of the things I did in my life.  However when I came to Sri Lanka, I found out that it was actually difficult to get a work visa and there is actually a possibility of not getting one!

I took on the advice of my former boss to learn something in the event of not getting employed.  She suggested coaching.  And the rest was history.  That pretty much lead me to the next season of my life that beautifully aligns with my new role as a mother and a trailing spouse. 

Had it not been for Sri Lanka, I would have continued on to what was comfortable back home.  I’m sure I would still experience growth.  Because at the end of the day learning and progressing is all upto you.  But not all people are afforded this whiteness of a space and blankness of a page that most of the time comes with packing up your bags and starting a new in a new country or a new geographic location.

It has expanded me into a realm that I never would have dreamed of because I never knew it existed.  I have everything to thank Sri Lanka for that!

Marriage + Wife

What matters to me livin' la vida Lanka?  First, Marriage + Wife.

We got married at the time we did because of Sri Lanka.  My husband got an assignment here and wanted to take me along.  Of course my uber Catholic upbringing and principles required us to get married.  After 1 month and 9 days of preparation, we did.  Two weeks later my husband started his assignment.  A month (the longest month evah!) later I followed suit. 

At first I was excited, I’m going to be an expat’s wife!  How fabulous could that be?  Well apparently… not very.  A lot of people have this misconception of an expat life, especially an expat’s wife’s life.  What I can say is this, anything that takes you out of your comfort zone is disorienting.  For a control-freak like me, that is not fabulous at all.

But I digress.

Back to marriage and being a wife.

Starting our life in Sri Lanka pretty much gave me a Marriage + Wife 101. 

The things I firmly held onto in my life back in Manila, I left when I went to Sri Lanka.

I left my family and friends.

I left my job and source of income (which pretty much meant my independence as well).

I left my identity.

I vowed to my husband that I will go where he goes.  How romantic!  How adventurous!  It is!  Actually.  But not in the way I expected it to be.

Don’t get me wrong.  Being married to my husband is easy like a Sunday morning.  Living with him is a joy. 

I learned these lessons pretty much the hard way:

I learned that I do not operate as a “singular” entity anymore.  I have a partner.  And I allowed myself to depend on him.

I still have my family and friends, no matter where I am.  But what my family and friends offer me, my husband gives me too.  I let him be my family and friends and I became his family and friends too.

I learned that I am still me – even without the trappings of my “Manila” life.  That I am growing, changing and transforming not on my own anymore but we’re growing, changing and transforming together as husband and wife and as our individual identities.

At the end of the day I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.  Marriage and a start-up wife La Vida Lanka!

I'm Back!

Good Morning Colombo!

After a semi-blogging hiatus, it’s home sweet La Lanka home! 

Did you miss me? 

I missed you! 

I promise to write a more substantial post but these things first: 

• Manila was Productive, wild and towards the end, got a bit tiring. 
• In as much as I’m still crazy busy, it’s still chillanka, you know, Chilla in Sri Lanka {a new term! love it!}. 
• It’s good to be back. I’m getting emo because I know our days are “numbered” here. Just when it’s definitely home. Oh well, our so-called-nomadic life. 

So, there. 

See you again in a bit!

A Slice of Our Lanka Life

It’s been a while since I last posted something!  It’s been crazy busy!  We’ve been on home leave since early this month.  Coming back to Manila after a year of being away we had to adjust a bit: to the pace, the number of people, cars and the craziness of it all!  Manila is wild.  And I am like a probinsyana lost in its concrete jungle!  After almost a month of this, I yearn for the quiet and solitude of our Colombo abode.  I miss our “own home.”  I miss our everyday routine.  Auntie Vimala.  Uncle Ajantha.  Our friends.  It’s weird, I am in Manila which has been home (and will forever be!) yet I’m homesick for Sri Lanka. 

So to quench my yearning, I would like to share with you photos of what a day is like in our La Lanka abode.  These were taken the day before we left and as part of the online photography course I’m taking.

When we first moved in, I didn't know what to do with our dining set.  It offended us aesthetically.  I didn't know it only takes changing the seat covers and it could actually be pretty!

I was fixing up the house one day when I decided to reorganize the living room.  I found this Balinese art matches our pillows!  

Laundry doesn't have to be a drag!  Splash some color in it!

One of Luna's favorite things to do: take a bath!

Her clothes take a bath too!  Here, hanging out to dry on our veranda.

What matters most.  Our daughter's happiness.  Can you see Auntie Vimala's happy too? Fun!

Note on the photos: The prompt was to go around each room of the house and basically capture what matters to you.  These are bits and pieces of it :-)

The 2 O' Clock Traffic

This is how Havelock Road looks like at around 2pm from our balcony.  Compared to Manila traffic it’s nothing but this is quite busy already in Colombo.  It’s dismissal time in school and lunch time for most.  Yes you read it right, they eat lunch when we’re almost ready to take merienda.  

I can’t believe we only have 6 months to take in this view.  It makes me overly sentimental.  If you read my first few posts and my latest ones, you know I’ve come a long way through.  I am no longer that newly-wed, anxious about not having work but embracing the housewife world girl who came here in 2010.  Around this time (2pm) at the last quarter of 2010, I would probably be coming home from Sinhala class, or occasionally having lunch with Sinhala classmates or going out to buy groceries or taking a nap (back then I re-discovered the pleasures of siesta).  In 2011, I probably am one of the few who are working in the office as most of them are in the canteen having lunch or waiting for my next meeting which will be after officemates come back for lunch.  Today, I’m usually at home taking my nap as it’s Luna’s sleepytime too (needless to say, I’ve re-discovered once again the power of the afternoon nap) or blogging, or reading, or even cooking or more like prepping what hubby will cook (you gotta work with the “free” time you have, i.e. Luna’s sleepy time).  

Since moving to Sri Lanka, my 2pm have been so totally different from 2010, 2011 and 2012.  I wonder what my 2pm will be like by the last quarter of this year.  Where will we be then?