The Real Housewife of Colombo

The view of Colombo from our veranda

Around a month and a half after I started this blog, I finally arrived in the tea country! The journey was (and still is) interesting – a series of difficult but beautiful transformations.  One such transformation was filling out the immigration card.  I didn’t know that it would be such a moment.  In particular, I didn’t realize that answering the box for “Occupation” was so defining.  Normally I would put HR Manager or its derivative.  Last October 2 was the first day in 7 years that I couldn’t.  That day I didn’t have an occupation so I just put “None.” 

I didn’t think too much of it until I was asked by the Immigration Officer, “Why None?”  Yeah, why none?  I was telling my husband about this when I arrived and he said, “Why didn’t you just put housewife?”  Yeah, why didn’t I?  I guess at that moment, I wasn’t yet a housewife.  I was still 10 hours away.

Now, 6 days after I arrived I can say I am a housewife.  I am a wife, I stay home around 50% of the time, I wash, I cook (yes!), I clean and I decorate.  When I was still working and there were days when I get enough of the stress, the people and the politics, I dream I was a housewife – not just your everyday housewife, an expat’s wife!  It was a nice convenient escape.  Now that I am “living the dream” it does feel like an escape.  I actually feel like I’m in a silent retreat most of the day (sans the TV, internet and radio).  I like the balance of staying home and going out.  And on both occasions I am definitely occupied.  But it is a different kind of “occupation.”  It is totally an escape from my “previous life.” 

In as much as I dreamed of becoming an expat’s wife, I loved the life I lead.  I was working in reputable organizations, learning a lot, touching quite a few people along the way, dealing with challenges that fed my soul.  There are times when it felt like the daily grind and you want nothing but to take a vacation.  Now that I’m in this “vacation” I hope that it stays that way, a vacation.  It will be good while it lasted but it has an end.  To the housewives out there, I totally respect you because it is hard work and a totally different discipline altogether!  But really, enlighten me how you are able to do it because I think I still have a lot of learn.  

Reunited with Hubby

The battle plan is settle in, make the house a home, enjoy being a housewife (a good one at that!) and then continue doing what I’m passionate about (work in organization development / human resources) on top of continuously making the house a home and being a wife.  Now that’s truly quite an occupation!  But for now, I’m still learning to embrace this so-called-life as a housewife.  And along the way I hope I can find passion in it and be a really good wife.    

Fitting 2 years in 30 kgs

I’ve always been a relatively light packer.  But the challenge of fitting 2 years in 30 kgs got me stumped. I never thought that packing would present me such an existential dilemma.  All of a sudden the choices I make with what I should fill my baggage space and weight matter so dearly.  What makes it worse is that these decisions are made at a time when I am at a crossroads – of how do I really define myself?  Case in point: am I a working woman or a homemaker?  The choice of clothes definitely comes into play.  Do I bring work stuff or more the laid back ones?  Choice of shoes is also highly correlated: more flats or high heeled ones?  How about accessories – my mother’s beads (I would call my mom a therapeutic jewelry designer – as in it’s her creative outlet and one of the things in her pre-retirement life that keeps her sane) would need some weight allocation.

Looking On To The Future

Aside from the fashionable things in life I would also need to think about what I should do with the “free” time I am now gifted.  I have a couple of HR / OD books that I have not finished.  Yet I also need to bring cookbooks, DVDs, office supplies (I’m Laking National eh!), traveling mugs and jugs and kitchen accessories (as in some heavy duty can opener my husband asked me to bring!).  I’ve even crossed out my hubby’s list of spices, chocolates and truffle oil from the shopping list.  Of course I would also need my running gear (I’m going to strike it up in the streets of Colombo!) and yoga stuff (not to mention my yoga mat).  Medicines and toiletries also come into play.  The tablets are fine and easy to handle.  But the shampoos, conditioners, moisturizers, liquid soaps, etc. also weigh a lot!  What if Pureology or Kiehl’s are not available in Colombo?  Mind you, I’m just a low maintenance kind of girl!  (My friend Ward would disagree – but dude, believe me, I am!)  

And my art works!  My framed paintings definitely weigh much and not to mention are difficult to handle.  I would love to bring a (Ninang) Migs Villanueva to adorn our flat’s barren walls.  And my humble Ugu Bigyan pottery collection (well, it’s just a motley crew of cups and bowls).  My Starbucks City Mugs have definitely taken a backseat – I comfort myself with the fact that I will be collecting more from new places (a plea to Starbucks, please set up shop in Colombo! I don’t know how I could last long without you.).

Finding Contentment With The Right Baggage

With that one question – who am I or rather who would I like to be – brings up all these (seemingly) mini and unrelated decisions!  What should I buy in Colombo?  What should I take from Manila?  I really don’t want to spend unless utterly necessary.  Yet, will my thriftiness result in something more costly – say, over baggage?  Is it cheaper to ship than buy?  Or is it even a question of money?  Is it, at the end of the day, really a question of what are you holding on to?  What are you willing to let go of?  How much space will you leave for the adventure ahead?  What items of home will keep you anchored?  What things are holding you down? 

Needless to say you can’t bring everything.  My bestfriend even said she couldn’t fit 2 years in a 4 x 4 container van!  It is true what my good friend Eric Santillan once texted me:  “…In life, some things just got to give.  Decisions will always mean some kind of dying to self.”  Indeed it is, but with this “some kind of dying to self” you are given a new life.  And here I am, standing at the cusp – taking with me some of home, diligently staying within 30 kgs, making my way through my new life without too much baggage.