People + Connection

The fourth thing that Sri Lanka means to me is about the people we've made connections with.

Our life in Sri Lanka wouldn’t be as beautiful and grace-filled as it is had it not been for the people we meet.

The first new friends I’ve made was in Sinhala Class.  Looking back at it now I’ve realized that in as much as we were of different nationalities, ages and what-nots – we have so many things in common.  Our love of Yoga, our love for our husbands (we’ve basically “followed” or “stayed” in Sri Lanka for them!) and our love for learning to name a few.

Office friends are essential.  My first office friends here were actually hubby’s team.  They welcomed me with open arms and are just authentically awesome people.  When I started working I got my own set of office friends too!  And they are as great!

One thing that I was actually wary of mingling with are Filipinos.  This is coming from a warning that Filipinos will just borrow money.  But I had a totally different experience here!  They did not borrow money at all but they are one of the most generous people I have ever met in my life.  I guess it’s the sense of solidarity and brotherhood for people from home in a land far away from home.  Or just the kinds of people they are.  They have gifted us with food, invited us to the parties and basically opened their arms and made Sri Lanka feel like Manila.  One thing about money though is that they are one set of uber entrepreneurs.  They make longganisa, siopao and even bring in Dunkin Donuts from the Middle East and sell it for a nice profit! 

During my pregnancy my doctor was a ray of sunshine and calling me “Sweetie” was pretty calming amidst the stresses of a first-time mom-to-be.  Our birthing class teacher was a source of strength and reassurance.  My yoga gurus gave powerful meditations. 

Closer to home, I feel we’ve developed a sense of family with our nanny and driver.  In as much as in this warped world they “serve” us, we have endeavored to serve them as well.  They are our parent’s age yet they work for us but I look at it this way, they take care of us.  This is the first time I’ve ever “managed” household “help” and I didn’t think I would be this sentimental about it.  I guess we were lucky to have found them.  Avid readers would know that I’ve had my fair share in driver troubles and cleaner woes.  But the two who are with us the longest and with us now are truly exceptional – not only in their work but also as persons.  As Nanny McVi once said, “I know you have a good heart.”

The place is just a place until it becomes rooted in the people there.  Nanny McVi was showing how sad she was on our leaving.  You see her expertise is taking care of children from 0-12.  By the time they celebrate their first birthday, she moves on to another newborn.  In as much as in each leaving there is sadness, with her “Sri Lankan” babies, she knows she can still see them.  But us, this may be a “real” goodbye.  I sure hope not.  And to go all MacArthur or Schwatzenegger, “We will be back.”  Or you will visit us in Singapore.  Or we’ll keep touch on Facebook!  Whatever mode - we'll definitely stay connected.

Motherhood

The third thing Sri Lanka means to me is Motherhood.

Maybe because I didn’t give birth in my own country makes where I did extra special. 

Getting pregnant and giving birth in a country where no family exists is tough. And first-time pregnancy and birth are milestones that are meant to be shared with the world!

I was depressed for most of my first trimester.  As regular readers would remember.  I hated where I was.  I longed for home.  Maybe it was because of the morning (all-day) sickness or the hormones.  Whatever the reason I was struggling with the fact that I was not in the Philippines.

As we went on with our pregnancy, I realized that it could actually be a good thing!

Not having food I craved for means I didn’t gain as much weight – in the end I still did but imagine if a Kare-Kare was within easy reach…

People also were more cautious to tell you what to do because aside from being “medical”, pregnancy and childbirth are very much culture-laden.

Because it was “just us” – we started off parenthood our way.  Luckily hubby and I are pretty much on the same page.

Aside from the benefits of “exclusion” at the end of the day we still shared the milestone with the world.

Thoughts and kind gifts found its way to us – from Australia, US and the Philippines.  With that I discovered how awesome the Sri Lankan Post System is!  And started to use the old school mail again.

I felt in as much as the family and friends I grew up with were not around, we gained more with friends who “took care of us” and treated us like family.  For that Pinoy friends are a must.  We were exposed to the utmost kindness from our kababayans (countrymen).  But not only them, all around kindness abound – especially if you’re pregnant!

In the end, My Team Luna was complete.  Hubby and I are together.  For him I would get pregnant and give birth anywhere.  But it was made even more complete, my mom by my side.  My mom for her and for what she stood for, my family and friends back home.

At the end of the day, Sri Lanka will always be special for making me a mom.  But really underneath that for making me grow up.

The Island Explorer La Vida Lanka Part 1

Because our great friend The Island Explorer came to town, we did what we most wanted to do: visit Dambulla + Sigiriya.  


I first heard about Sigiriya when Ian Wright did his show Globe Trekkers on Sri Lanka.  The story is that there was this prince who killed his father to be the king.  He was so paranoid that his brothers would plot the revenge of their father's death that he situated himself and his palace upon a rock fortress: enter Sigiriya.

The Sigiriya Rock Fortress

I don't know with you but if you've situated yourself on top of that rock, well, it is indeed difficult to get to you.

The Island Explorer at the Base - the farthest I could climb, for now!

I didn't.  I could only climb upto the base of the rock - I don't want it to be another Ulsanbawi experience.  When we were in Korea, we climbed Ulsanbawi and for the next couple of days I couldn't walk straight.  It sucked because our next location was the city of Seoul.  Imagine feeling like 80, body aching walking through the city.  But I digress.


Plus the hornets freaked me out.  Yes there are bees flying around.


Plus the wind was terrifying.


Ok now you know I am afraid of heights.


I want to say it here, when we come back for Luna's 7th birthday or something, we will get to the top.  Promise.  


Back to the story, I was intrigued about it but what surprised me more was the view.  From that height (the base) you would just gasp and say, "Look at my beautiful kingdom."  It was a-ma-zing.

The Island Explorer climbed to the top and showed us his pictures.  It was more than amazing.  There was a "proper" "castle" up there!  They were ruins of course but it was crazy finding a pool from that height.  


After that we had our dinner at the beautiful Vil Uyana.  It's a short drive from Sigiriya and such a cozy, posh and polished Sri Lankan look.  At USD300 a night, it was way beyond our budget so the strategy with those kinds of places are eat there! Wohoo!  The food was great as with the service.

We stayed in Heritance Kandalama, this one nearer Dambulla.


It's one of the premier eco-hotels in the country but it's a full-blown hotel as opposed to Vil Uyana which has a more resort-y feel.

The next day we went to Dambulla Cave.  Gosh, another climb!  But not as high as Sigiriya.  It has a beautiful ancient temple with beautiful temple art on its walls.  These would date back to thousands of years ago!  It's pretty amazing too!

During this trip, The Island Explorer was struck at how beautiful Sri Lanka is.  Of course we, hubby and I, know about these places already but it's different actually going to these locations.


Sigiriya and Dambulla are in one area so if you want to see them both, better if you allot at least 3 days for the trip for a leisurely experience.  We only did it for 2 days which was quite a blitz but we were still able to appreciate it.  Kudos to Luna our little trooper!

The area reminds me of Seam Reap, Cambodia.  As The Island Explorer would say, Uma-Ankor or Cuma-Cambodia.  Hmmm... I it has this chillax feeling but you know around it greatness lies.


We were also planning a trip to the ancient kingdoms of Pollonarua and Anuradhapura but The Island Explorer wanted to go to the hills (Hatton) and the sea (Galle).


More on our adventures with The Island Explorer next!

White Space + Blank Page

The second thing that matters most to me in Sri Lanka is being given a White Space + Blank Page.

I knew I needed to make new friends – so I enrolled in a Sinhala class and found my first dear friends and who are just awesome people.

I also wanted to deepen my Yoga practice and it just so happened that my first two Sinhala class friends, A and D were avid Yoga practitioners!  How cool is that?  I tried both their recommendations and found that what D referred was one that spoke to me more.

My Yoga gurus – the mother-and-daughter team of Nandini and Nitya of Aurora Yoga Studio is just awesome.  Nandini pushed me to achieve poses that I never even dared possible – all in the safe space that she created.  She was tough but kind.  I was practicing with Nitya most of the time because I did more Yoga when I got pregnant and after I gave birth.  She is an excellent Pre and Post Natal Yoga teacher.  I love the mini-meditation she facilitates: drawing prana and imagining it filling my tummy and enveloping Luna then in the womb with love and compassion. 

Sri Lanka provided me a white space, a blank page where nurtured passions that were just brewing back in Manila (Yoga) and expanded myself to really put myself out there and make new friends.  Something that I wouldn’t take the time to do in Manila because I was pretty much operating in my comfort zone.  Of course I would make friends when I attend a retreat or moved to a different company but that was facilitated by the situation itself.  Whereas here, I really had to think of opportunities where I can actually meet new friends!

More than that, what I thought I would just pick-up where I left off was career.  I am a person who anchors my identity on my career – for the longest time that was the center of most of the things I did in my life.  However when I came to Sri Lanka, I found out that it was actually difficult to get a work visa and there is actually a possibility of not getting one!

I took on the advice of my former boss to learn something in the event of not getting employed.  She suggested coaching.  And the rest was history.  That pretty much lead me to the next season of my life that beautifully aligns with my new role as a mother and a trailing spouse. 

Had it not been for Sri Lanka, I would have continued on to what was comfortable back home.  I’m sure I would still experience growth.  Because at the end of the day learning and progressing is all upto you.  But not all people are afforded this whiteness of a space and blankness of a page that most of the time comes with packing up your bags and starting a new in a new country or a new geographic location.

It has expanded me into a realm that I never would have dreamed of because I never knew it existed.  I have everything to thank Sri Lanka for that!

Marriage + Wife

What matters to me livin' la vida Lanka?  First, Marriage + Wife.

We got married at the time we did because of Sri Lanka.  My husband got an assignment here and wanted to take me along.  Of course my uber Catholic upbringing and principles required us to get married.  After 1 month and 9 days of preparation, we did.  Two weeks later my husband started his assignment.  A month (the longest month evah!) later I followed suit. 

At first I was excited, I’m going to be an expat’s wife!  How fabulous could that be?  Well apparently… not very.  A lot of people have this misconception of an expat life, especially an expat’s wife’s life.  What I can say is this, anything that takes you out of your comfort zone is disorienting.  For a control-freak like me, that is not fabulous at all.

But I digress.

Back to marriage and being a wife.

Starting our life in Sri Lanka pretty much gave me a Marriage + Wife 101. 

The things I firmly held onto in my life back in Manila, I left when I went to Sri Lanka.

I left my family and friends.

I left my job and source of income (which pretty much meant my independence as well).

I left my identity.

I vowed to my husband that I will go where he goes.  How romantic!  How adventurous!  It is!  Actually.  But not in the way I expected it to be.

Don’t get me wrong.  Being married to my husband is easy like a Sunday morning.  Living with him is a joy. 

I learned these lessons pretty much the hard way:

I learned that I do not operate as a “singular” entity anymore.  I have a partner.  And I allowed myself to depend on him.

I still have my family and friends, no matter where I am.  But what my family and friends offer me, my husband gives me too.  I let him be my family and friends and I became his family and friends too.

I learned that I am still me – even without the trappings of my “Manila” life.  That I am growing, changing and transforming not on my own anymore but we’re growing, changing and transforming together as husband and wife and as our individual identities.

At the end of the day I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.  Marriage and a start-up wife La Vida Lanka!

What Matters Most Livin La Vida Lanka?

It is confirmed.

It’s bye bye Lanka end of this month.  And hello Singapore.

It’s earlier than expected.

But for a very good reason.

Kudos to hubby for his promotion to the regional category team!

I’ve prayed to my dearest saints for this.

And he got it.

I am beyond proud!

But a part of me is in deep sorrow.

More like uber regretful.

I feel like I have not maximized my Lanka life.  I should have gone to more places.  Done more things.  Ate more of their food. 

I’m scared too.

Starting a new.  Leaving the home that we’ve built here. 

BUT, as the song in Rent The Musical goes “FORGET REGRET --- OR LIFE IS YOURS TO MISS… THERE’S NO DAY BUT TODAY."

So, instead of moping for not completing my List La Vida Lanka and this and that, I want to close off Livin’ La Vida Lanka – both the blog and the real life – the right way.

Darrah Parker in The Slice of Life Project taught me how to look at my life and see what really matters.  That plus a laser coaching session with ze Coachman Erich inspired me to use that perspective in “closing” our Lanka adventure.

So I invite you to join me in truly celebrating what matters most in Livin’ La Vida Lanka! 

Three's a Galle

After our third visit, I must say Galle is our favorite place to go outside Colombo. Well we frequent Bentota a bit too but I just love the ambience of Galle.


We took Juliet Coombe's tour again and this time she showed us the other side of Galle...


It is beautiful, although I know my pictures won't do it justice.

Luna Lakwatsera

Hubby, Luna and Nanalou-razzi at the artist Janaka de Silva's space

The Best in Temple Art: Janaka De Silva

View of the Roofs in The Galle Fort

What time is it? 4:30 na, Ang TV na!

By The Entrance

The Sea

Another One Of The Sea

But you know what would do it justice?  Going there.  Now!