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| Luna Girl (mukha lang siyang boy dito, bakit ba) and Nanny McVi |
We weren’t really
intending to hire a nanny… one of the reasons why we decided for me to be a
stay-at-home-mom was I really couldn’t feel comfortable leaving Luna girl with
a nanny for most of the day while I travel 1 hour to work one-way (which is 2
hours back and forth). Add to the
fact that we have no family around to supervise or at least call on within the
city (office is 30kms away). Instead
we planned to increase the day the cleaner comes while I manage baby
duties. I mean how hard can it be
right? Baby cries, I respond, she
sleeps, we play a little… I was
even afraid I’d get bored. Bored! Boy was I wrong! It is true what they say, I’d have my
hands full. Let’s even just focus
on one thing: diaper duties. Hubby
wanted to go with cloth diapering.
I was concerned because of the lack of help but fine it should be
manageable. It actually is when
you think about the laundry part but the changing part was incredible. For the first few weeks I felt I was
“reduced” to being peed and pooed on and in a never-ending cycle of changing
nappies. This wasn’t how I
imagined motherhood to be! I was
crying to my husband and dreading the day my mom goes home (she flew in for my
delivery and the holiday season).
I was even pissed at him, it was his idea to go with cloth (to which he
has a different memory of, who is right doesn’t matter, hehe)! So I gave him a choice: let’s do
disposables or hire a nanny. That
evening, hubby told me I have a nanny interview the next day. That was how he felt strongly about
cloth diapering. Haha! But seriously I think he saw how much I
was struggling. And maybe he was
too.
At first I was a bit
guilty. I mean I quit work to take
care of my baby but I let somebody else do it at the end of the day (she’s
part-time though, 4 hours a day).
But for my sanity, I needed her.
And for work, she needed us.
We found our nanny from a referral of our officemate. Her sister-in-law hired her own nanny
from a nurse who apparently has a network of nannies. Vimala, Luna’s nanny was
a professional babysitter, she had medical experience as a hospital attendant
and even had international work experience working in a hospital in Dubai. I was impressed with her qualifications. With these qualifications, she was also
very knowledgeable about health and safety. She came in with her own uniform
(!) and was very well-groomed (i.e. she smelled good and would only touch Luna
when she is already in her uniform vis a vis her street clothes).
Hubby and I also
consider a person’s “aura.” We’re
not aura readers or anything of that sort but we would like to have a positive
energy around our household moreover our baby! She is a lovely middle-aged woman, who talks animatedly and
who is quite loud. My kind of
woman!
The true test came when
she held Luna. Luna was
comfortable with her immediately.
You could sense a feeling of peace with Luna as she was being held in
capable hands. She is also very
observant about Luna, pointing out peculiar things she has observed about her
(e.g. a weird birthmark-ish mark on her scalp) and reports any anomalies to
me. Moreover you could see that
Vimala was passionate about babies. I know it’s mean to say but at first I felt
handling babies was such a chore – goodness even my own! I didn’t know what to do, I wasn’t
effective, how could I enjoy it right?
I mean don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter with my whole heart but
that is just different from being happy with how I am taking care of her. The Tiger Mother, Amy Chua had it right,
“nothing is fun until you’re good at it (Chua, 2011, p.29).” Unfortunately when it comes to taking
care of my child, I was not good at it.
NOT YET. So I vowed to
myself that I will make the most of this nanny situation. I embraced the learning opportunity
offered by our Nanny McVi! I will
not just sit back in jealousy seeing how good somebody else is with my
daughter. I will be good with my
daughter as well.
In just barely two
months I’ve learned so much from her about taking care of Luna. How to hold her, soothe her, make her
sleep, how to wash her bottles and heck, even how to fold her nappy. How they fold the nappy is pretty cool
I tell yah! In as much as I learn
these by observing, asking questions and asking for demonstration, I also take note
when she gives me her own inputs and feedback on how things should be
done. She’s the expert and so far
she makes sense! I appreciate it
too that she gave me the space to chart the course on how to take care of my
daughter. For one she is already a
believer in having a schedule for baby, although I think she was a bit shocked
during our sleep training on how detailed the schedule was and how anal I was
in implementing it. Don’t worry
people I exercised flexibility, within limits! And she fully supported me during our bottle re-training
bootcamp.
There were also many
things I learned from Nanny McVi about taking care of baby beyond the practical
stuff…
First, she always says
in her broken English “baby (or baba, baby in Sinhala or babi, maybe her own
other way of saying baby, haha) understands.” True! Baby
understands if she is being held by a person s/he can trust, who knows how to
take care of him/her. Or how you
are feeling while holding him/her.
Which brings me to my next point.
Chillax. Be calm and secure. Babies need security and with your
touch, you can say, “baby, you’re safe, relax.” How she holds Luna and how she gently sways to calm her down
are all done in a very chill manner.
And related to my last
point, chillax, you are not a bad mother just because you get a nanny. It is ok to admit that you need help
especially if you’re a first timer because taking care of a baby is a skill
that can be learned. It is a very
specialized competency I must say as with being a mother, you can’t just be a
good baby sitter just like that.
And if providing your baby the best care means getting a nanny, then so
be it.
Hiring Nanny McVi is one
of the best decisions we’ve made (crossing my fingers this statement will hold
true until we leave in August).
For Luna because she does have the best care – from Nanny McVi, daddy
and me! For hubby and I as we have
the opportunity to learn from an “expert.” But for me mostly, as we are together everyday, in as much
as she is Luna’s nanny, she has become my childcare mentor and friend too.
If you are in Sri Lanka
and looking for a Nanny, contact Sister Kern of McCarthy Hospital at
2697760. *Sister is a title to
mean a Senior Female Nurse in the British Nursing Hierarchical System.
Reference:
Chua, A. (2011). Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Bloomsbury, UK.
